Please Tell Me, How Do I Live Without You?
by NerdLife
Summary: "Please, I just need you to tell me. How am I supposed to live without you? When you're my whole entire world. How am I supposed to try and forget when all my organs pulse and function for you? Every breath I take is for you, and how am I supposed to breathe now when you aren't here?" Marina tries to cope after Eight's death. (Set in between Fall of Five and Revenge of Seven)


**A/N: What up, long time no see…Disclaimer I own nothing, as per usual.**

Please, I just need you to tell me. How am I supposed to live without you? When you're my whole entire world. How am I supposed to try and forget when all my organs pulse and function for you? Every breath I take is for you, and how am I supposed to breathe now when you aren't here? You're the sun to my solar system, and without you I have no light. My world is completely black without your beautiful smile lighting up my universe. I live in a world of darkness, because you aren't here. No, I don't even live in a world anymore, because you're my world. And you aren't here. My heart aches with each beat, because it knows that it beats for you and your heart no longer beats. Our hearts were tied tightly and combined with our burning love, and they're still attached, but yours no longer beats. My heart is burdened with every beat to know that with each beat, your dead heart remains still and lifeless. Please, tell me if you could, how am I supposed to live when you're dead?

I feel dead, because you're my life and you're gone. I'm dead, but I still am being forced to live.

A part of me was taken when you were, and I'm not even whole anymore.

I'm just broken to pieces, because you were the glue to everything that is me. You were ripped away from me and I shattered.

You were my heaven and without you I am hell.

You were my world and I still live in it, even though you are gone. There isn't time or a physical world here. Just darkness and grieving, as I get mocked by all the good times with you. I remember your lips on mine and I burn, because I'll never get that again. All I'll ever be mocked by is how we almost shared just one more. One. More. Kiss. But you were ripped from me before it, because I wanted to keep fighting the battle before us. It seems so miniscule now, even though you were taken from me during it. I don't remember anything to that battle, just the constant burning on my leg that tells me that you, my entire universe, is gone.

Without you here, I forget that I exist.

That's until the people that care about you and me try to intervene with me trying to survive without you by remembering how much I need you. Six tries to help me the most, she's like a sister who seems heartless until she sees that amount of pain I'm in. She cries with me, because both her and I need you, Eight.

But you're gone. And I'm left for this aftermath of trying to live without you.

Why couldn't I have been taken from this cruel world instead of you, I'd rather die than live without you. But that's life, I don't get to choose what happens to me.

So I just lay and bed and think of how much I need you and try to forget the world. Six comes in often, crying and pleading until a certain amount of time happens and she yells and cries. Marina, please, you can't live like this, Eight is gone but you aren't; you're still here and we need you here. Or she yells something like that, but she's wrong, because you're gone and so am I. I'm not here, whatever here is, because the place I'm in is nonexistent, not without you here.

I can't see. I can't hear. I can't touch. I can't taste. I can't smell. You were my senses and you're gone. I am nothing, because without you and you're love my body doesn't work. It can't, all my body can do is grieve for you.

I don't have a world to exist in.

How can I forget you? I find it ironic that I didn't know you existed for most of my life, and when I met you, it was like I breathed for the first time, felt my heart actually beat. And now I'm supposed to try and go back to how I was without you for eighteen years. But how can anyone go from the warmth of heaven and slide back into hell and try to be fine with that?

My love for you when you were alive made me warm and euphoric. And my love for you when you are dead is my worst enemy. Our love is our peak and our pit. Is that what true love is? It is the best thing in the entire world when together, but when one is gone it is the darkest thing possible to experience?

Eight, I love you. How do I live without that?

Love is everything, and without you here, love makes me nothing.

I am nothing. I lost my other half that ruined all of me.

The days don't even pass by. Time doesn't even exist for me, and time is supposed to dull the wound of you being gone. But that isn't true, that pain never wavers or leaves. It is the constant to me, it will always be there in your place.

What is my place without you? Personally, nowhere and hell, well a mixture of the two. Physically, in this bed that I rot in and think of you while everyone else tries to find each other. I just lay here and miss you. I miss you so much. The word miss doesn't even suffice. You were it for me, and without you I have no purpose.

So yes, I lay in a bed full of agony and rot away as I grieve over you. The pain doesn't seem like it will ever leave. I'll never be capable to not be hurt so much by the biggest loss that is you. The pain will never be capable of leaving, because you are my everything.

After so long of living with nothing because everything that matters is gone, the broken pieces and defected loric I am, I break even more. I can't survive. How do I even live without you? Any other thing in life is petty, because my whole world is over, because I don't have you. I've given up and gotten out of my bed.

Six finds me curled up in the bathtub and crying over you. She coaxes me out with whispers of good news. I can take any at this point, but I know that deep down no good news will light up the darkness of my life without you. She pulls me around to show me that everyone has met up again. Tears reside in my eyes over you and all of them see how disgusting and ruined I am without you. It breaks them too, because we all need you. How do we go on when you were the screws that held us together with your joking personality? Now we have a screw loose and at this moment we all fall apart.

John is the one to announce that we'll hold a memorial for you the next day. Even though we don't have your beauteous and wonderful physical form, just the memories. I go back to my room, considering to burn a scar on everyone else's ankle to escape and run away with you in our own ending together. Nothing has ever sounded more pertinent and important.

Somehow Six noticed me sneaking the knife into my room, she withholds my glorious goodbye of the darkness to enter the light of you again. I hate her for it. I scream and punch and cry and kick at her as she holds me down with tight arms around my midsection.

"Everything will be okay. Trust me, I know it is the last thing from that now, but it will change. You will always miss him, you'll carry that with you every day, but you will eventually learn to live in his memory and you'll be fine. Marina, you will survive this death. I know you're strong enough," she whispers strongly in my ear.

I cry and struggle without you until I collapse in unconsciousness in Six's, basically my sister's, arms. She walks me out of the house at dawn with the rest of the group. She holds my hand like a protective older sister, to protect me of you being gone. The whole group stands by a beautiful pond surrounded by green flowers that remind me of your eyes. The beautiful trees create a canopy over our heads and it blocks the rising sun.

We huddle together in the crisp silence over you. I'm overwhelmed by how the atmosphere consumes me in missing you. I squeeze my eyes shut tightly to push out the tears over you, because you're dead. And you aren't coming back. I realize now that you'll always be gone and I have to live with that. I've never known how to, and I still don't. I need to use the memory of you as my guide, but all the memory of you does is destroy me.

The group continues to cry and we all say some nice words about you, except me. I don't need to say anything, because it hurts and we all know you were my everything and I don't need to remind everyone what you meant to me, because we all know. My everything is gone, and I don't know how to survive. All I need is you, and that need will never ever be fulfilled. I'm going to be forced to live, even though you were every meaning to my life, because I loved you with everything, Eight. I love you so much, and that is everything to me. My love for you is the purpose of my existence. You're the love of my life and I'm supposed to live now without my love.

I look around the group, and all their images are blurred by my tears for you. One seems unfamiliar, and well, one is missing. Other than you of course. You are my most important love. And someone who is my sister is gone. Ella isn't here. She lead me to you, she lead me to my talent. She was my catalyst and I don't see her.

"Where is Ella?" I ask. My voice cracks from all the ugly tears I've shed over my reality without you.

That's when John frowns more and explains that the mogs took her. First, one of our own that worked for mogs took you, my everything. Now they took my catalyst, my little sister. Ella is gone, they took her when they took you.

My world that I live in burns with a sudden fire unleashed from within me. Complete and utter hatred for those monsters called mogs, burns in my core. They took you and I'm forced to try and live to fight them when they took _you _from _me_. Now they take the innocent child who led me to you and was there for me regardless. They want to destroy everything I love. And because of that they've destroyed me. And now an anger unimaginable rages inside of me.

The world around me freezes with my new legacy from my immense anger. I growl through my tears. They've taken you from me, and I don't know how to go on. All I know is that they've taken all that I love and now it's replaced with pure hatred for their malice. I need their blood on my hands to end the suffering, to end them for ending you.

I don't know if Ella is still alive, but I'm going to do everything I can to get her back for you. I know you're with me right now as I feel this change of hatred as I punch the tree beside me. You're showing me how to survive without you right now. The only way to cope is not to rot and grieve, but for you, I need to avenge your death and save Ella. I don't know if I'll ever be the same with my love Number Eight gone, but I'll do my damn well to avenge your demise.

I'm Number Seven and I'm going to get my revenge for you, Eight.

**A/N: The end. Tears for Marina, right? Well, this is how I picture her transferring from grief to getting her revenge, hence the new title of the next book, The Revenge of Seven. I felt like writing something sad, and I've had major writers block and I managed to ease back in with this. Tell me what you guys think, thanks! :)**


End file.
